Interloper of the Nicest Sort
by Bunny-Butler
Summary: Frodo and Sam set out to leave the Shire to begin their epic and well documented journey to destroy the One Ring. In Farmer Maggot's field they are literally run over by three intrepid veggie theives. Wait, three? We know Merry and Pippin, but...
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** This whole attempt can be blamed upon my listening to the _Lord of the Rings_ soundtrack one time too many and having no social life to speak of. I'm trying to base most of this on the movie script. Enjoy.

**Interloper of the Nicest Sort**

"Mr. Frodo?" Sam's voice sounded a bit panicked as he crashed about through the corn fields. "Frodo!" When he finally caught sight of his charge, a wave of relief washed over his features. "I thought I'd lost you."

Frodo turned to face one of his oldest friends. "What are you talking about?" Sam grimaced but there was a determined gleam in his eye.

"It's just sumpthin' that Gandalf said..."

"What did he say?"

"_Don't you lose him, Samwise Gamgee_, and I don't mean to." Sam seemed to grow in size as his responsibilities were revealed. Frodo smiled.

"Sam, we're still in the Shire - what could possibly happen..." The words were lost as three bodies came dashing out of the corn to bowl both Frodo and Sam over.

"Frodo," exclaimed a familiar voice from on top of the pile. "Merry, it's Frodo Baggins!"

"Hullo, Frodo," came a cheerful, if slightly muffled voice from somewhere in the middle of the pile of arms and legs. "Oy, Pippin! You'd best be getting off of Miss Ivy's chest before she sticks those carrots somewhere dark!" Frodo had just enough time to wonder who Miss Ivy was before Sam was up and hauling the others off of him.

"You've been into Farmer Maggot's fields again! Just what…" Sam's voice trailed off as he took full stock of the three tacklers. "By the Shire, what are you fools doing running with a lady and a human to boot!"

"Not much of a lady," Merry snorted, but Miss Ivy thumped the back of his head causing the others to smile. She was wearing buckskin trousers.

"These two fine gentlemen, (everyone's eyebrows arose at the description, even the said gentlemen) have agreed to guide me through these unfamiliar lands," she said with a deeper voice than the hobbits had expected. Not deep like a man's but it had a huskiness that made Frodo think of the fiery spirits his Uncle would sometimes drink when the weather grew colder. Further pondering was destroyed when Farmer's Maggot's voice reached them as he trailed the vegetable thieves. Prudently, the group hurried along out of the corn fields. Merry and Pippin were trying to explain the Farmer's overreaction to their tasting of his crops, what with the cabbages, the potatoes, and the mushrooms they'd 'sampled' when they reached the edge of a minor cliff that marked the end of the Maggot holdings. Sam, his attention of the approaching farmer walked straight into Miss Ivy's back, who then hit the two fine gentlemen, who tumbled into Frodo sending the whole group over the ground's edge ass over kettle.

"Ooh, that was close," Pippin sighed.

"I think I've broken something," groaned Merry.

"Trust a Brandybuck and a Took," Sam grumbled.

"I think I ripped my pants." This was from a miffed sounding Miss Ivy. The conversation continued on in that sort of vein until Miss Ivy looked over towards where Frodo stood facing the roadway. "What is it," she whispered. For a moment, she thought that he hadn't heard her, but his eyes snapped towards her to pin her with his strange blue gaze.

"I think we should get off the road." His strange intensity combined with those otherworldly blue eyes was enough of a prod to have the entire group scrambling down to hide beneath some tree roots. A moment later when a cold thrill of dread washed over them all, they were grateful that they'd moved so quickly. Terrified at whatever creature of darkness had come to roost upon the ground just over their heads, the five held completely still despite the sudden flood of insects that came pouring out of the dead wood around them. Sam kept his eyes upon his charge, watching as Frodo turned paler with each passing second.

When Frodo reached for the Ring which hung about his neck he was doubly shocked when both Sam and Miss Ivy held out their hands to stop him. Frodo was grateful to Sam, but when his eyes turned the question to Miss Ivy, she just shook her head and nodded towards Merry. The imp of a hobbit chunked something out in to the brush and the dark creature raced off to follow the sound.

**AN: **How's that for a first chapter? I'm hoping to blend my character in without her becoming an all seeing/ all knowing Mary Sue. Give me a few more chances before you set your hearts against me. Until next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Here comes another one. Thank you for the encouragement! (Even if my latest attempt makes you regret it…) Tally-ho!

**Chapter 2**

It seemed like an eternity passed as they sat beneath the dead tree roots, Frodo and Miss Ivy staring hard at one another, but in reality, only a few minutes had gone by. The others held their breath as they watched in silence. Finally, Miss Ivy reached out with her right hand, sending her copper ringlets to dance around her face with the motion. Frodo instinctively flinched and covered his chest where Bilbo's ring lay hidden from sight.

"Don't be daft." She grasped his hand and gave it the customary three pumps of friendship. "I'm Miss Ivilina Manstone, hedge witch and all around handy-woman for hire." Her voice was pitched low in case the dark creature was still lurking, but its warmth was unmistakable. It was her tone that broke through the ice that had begun to creep into Frodo's heart. The shade of fear that had haunted his eyes slackened as the manners he'd been raised with came to the fore and he returned the handshake.

"I am Frodo Baggins, Hobbit scholar, and this is my friend and traveling companion Samwise Gamgee."

"Just Sam, if you will, Miss."

"If you'll call me Ivy," she grinned as she shook the stout hobbit's hand. Merry and Pippin insisted on calling her, "Miss Ivy," probably because the two pranksters knew that it irked her.

"I'm afraid that you've fallen into some ill luck, Ivy. Having crossed paths with Sam and me, you may now consider your life in grave danger." Merry and Pippin's heads raised as their self protection instincts were aroused.

"What about us, Frodo?"

"You too, my friends. Sam and I need to reach Bree, but I think the creature, possibly creatures, roaming the woods would have differently." Ivy looked to her guides and saw their conflict. They were hired to take her to the Shire, but they wanted to help their friend in his desperate situation. It was refreshing to be faced with an easy decision for once, she thought.

"Well then. Looks like my luck isn't so ill, fellas. Bree, by way of the Buckleberry Ferry, just happens to be on my, 'Sites to See,' list."

Dusk had faded into darkness and despite Frodo's protests; four hobbits and a most determined human female began to make their way through the night shrouded woods. "Get down!" Pippin's warning came not a moment too soon as a rider dressed in rags of black crested the path up ahead. They were all so focused on the threat in front that they almost didn't see the other Black Rider part from the shadows behind them.

"_Run!" _ Ivy, with her longer legs and speed born of fear, reached the raft first followed closely by Merry and Pippin.

"Get the ropes!" Sam had turned back to urge his Mister Frodo on as Merry began to cast of the raft. Ivy grasped Sam's shoulder and hung out over the craft's edge, her body suspended above the water.

"Jump, Frodo!" With a black demon at his heels, Frodo did just that, his hand catching Ivy's while his inertia pushed them both backwards to land in a sprawl upon the other three. Pulses pounding, chests heaving, Ivy shifted somewhere in the center of the pile. "We've got to stop meeting like this," she deadpanned. Having earlier felt as if he'd never have reason to smile again, Frodo was surprised to feel a faint smile curve his lips.

"Miss Ivy, I do believe you're enjoying yourself."

"Well, I'm not," grumbled Pippin. "Now get off of my head."

Somewhere in the night a horse screamed with madness as it carried its master further into the waiting darkness

**AN:** I've taken some good advice and stopped doing so many direct quotes from the movie. Hope you all enjoy the change.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** Sorry about the delay on this one. A couple of reviews made me have to do some thinking to get this scene to work right. Women really don't fit in well with this crowd of heroes. Guess I should have done this sooner, but I own none of the LotR franchise. That out of the way, on with the adventure.

**Chapter 3**

The Keeper of the Gate to Bree watched as the oddest crew to pass through his gate made their way to Pony. Four hobbits, not something he'd seen since he was a tot, and the mouthiest wench this side of the Great River. He noticed that she keep looking back at him like she'd like to come back and start arguing some more. Since he had only been trying to convince the daft girl that the Pony was no place for her even at the best of times, and with this rain and word of dark strangers lurking in the woods it was bloody well _not_ the best of times, he merely shook his head and returned to his post by the gate.

"What is he staring at? You'd think he'd never seen a woman before." Ivy's cheeks were flushed and her periwinkle eyes were still sparking in the gatekeeper's direction, but she seemed to be calming down. At least that's what Sam could guess.

"You stay close to us, Miss Ivy. We don't need your tongue to get us into any more trouble." As it turned out, trouble seemed to be wandering about Bree willy-nilly. Aside from Gandalf and Farmer Maggot, the four hobbits had never been aroundsuch alarge group ofhumans before. Merry looked at one such big fellow who stumbled past in the rain and then cast speculative eyes back at Miss Ivy. Never one to miss a crack at a friend, he gave a cheeky grin before speaking.

"You're kind of short for a human, aren't ya, Miss Ivy?"

"Watch your mouth. I'm tall enough to see the top of your head," she gave a devilish grin of her own," and if I'm not mistaken, you've got the start of a bald spot."

Merry's frantic checking of his hair (he seemed to have forgotten that he was wearing a hood…) broke a bit of the tension that had followed the group from the start of the downpour, but Frodo's halt before the door of the Prancing Pony brought their situation rushing back to front of their minds. It was quickly agreed that Ivy would have to keep her hooded cloak on. Even the hobbits realized that only certain kinds of women went into the taverns after dark.

"If you keep your hood on and kind of squat, you might be able to pass for one of us," toned Pippin.

"As long as no one looks at her feet," mumbled Frodo. They all looked down at the half boots on Ivy's dainty feet and then took in the large and hairy feet common to all hobbits. Actually, the hair was so caked with mud from the rains…Ivy sighed and began to pull off her boots while using one hand on Sam's shoulder to keep her steady.

"You have no idea what they dump into this gunk." With one good stomp and a partial burial in a particularly gooey mud hole, the 'hobbits' were ready to enter the tavern.

**AN:** Sorry for another short chapter, but if I try to push for more; I tend to trip myself up. You'll notice that I'll skim certain parts and hang on forever in others. Hopefully, you'll like my stuff enough to stick around and see what all I've got in store. Miss Ivy does have some background that will tell out as the story progresses. Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** Ah, me. Where does the time go? I managed to watch all three of the LoTR movies and finish off the new Harry Potter before I could get back into the writing mood. Hope this chapter is worth your time.

**Chapter 4**

"So this Gandalf was who you were meant to meet? What are you going to do now, Frodo?" Ivy's voice was pitched low and soft to keep up her male hobbit disguise. She wasn't the only one in the Prancing Pony who chose to keep her hood on either. Sam made it known to the group that a hooded man in the shadowed corner was keeping his eyes on Frodo's back. As subtle as hobbits ever got, Frodo stopped Butterbur the innkeeper as he passed by the table. It seemed that Frodo's watcher was one of the mysterious Rangers known only by the name Strider.

"What kind of name is 'Strider? Sounds like something you name a garden tool, not a person…" Frodo's mind wandered and Ivy's cheerful bantering faded away into the distance.

_Baggins…Baggins…Baggins…_

"Baggins? Sure I know a Baggins…" Ivy and Sam were jolted from their conversation that had wandered into the medicinal qualities of certain herbs one grew in his garden as Frodo leapt from the table and dashed to Pippin's side at the bar. There was a small scuffle and then Frodo fell to the floor and vanished into thin air. All of the men at the bar pulled back like scalded cats at the thought that there was black magic working in their midst. In the confusion, Sam grabbed a hold of Pippin's collar and yanked him away from the bar to pull him into a huddle with Merry and Ivy in the inn's staircase.

"Where's Frodo," seemed to be the question of the minute and then Sam was scrambling up the stairs with the word, "Strider," on his lips. Ivy was really surprised at the little man's courage as she and the Trouble Twins bounded up the stairs after him. Somewhere on the way Merry managed to grab hold of a lit candelabra, for light or for protection, Ivy wasn't sure.

Finding only one door closed the group through it open and burst into the room. Ivy's lips twitched at Sam's threat of harm to the, "Longshanks," but she managed to hold back her grin and look as fierce as her companions.

"Are you okay, Frodo?" Strider's eyes zeroed in on her and Ivy realized that in the hustle to get up stairs her male voice had been forgotten and her hood had fallen back. Sam stepped in front of her and regained the dark haired man's attention.

Strider spread his hands wide to show that they were empty. "You have a stout heart, little hobbit, but that will not save you. You can no longer wait for the wizard, Frodo - they're coming…"

"Is 'they' those black riders?"

"Aye, and Frodo had just lit a torch in the night that will draw them here all the faster."

"What are they?"

"They were once men, great kings of men…" And as Strider's tale unfolded, the night seemed to become colder as it pressed its inky blackness against the window pane.

**AN:** And so the trail to Rivendell begins. Sorry for such short chapters, but my mind wanders if I write for too long. Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think of the story so far. Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** I hope you will forgive my procrastination on this story. Things just kept coming up and I just kept putting this on the back burner. Well, now I have a few hours to kill, so let's see if I can't get Miss Ivy and the gang into a little bit of trouble now. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter 5**

Ivy smiled softly as she watched her hobbit companions doze like a pile of puppies in the seemingly giant, human sized bed. Strider had taken charge and moved them all into a new room across the way from the Pony's hobbit quarters. Exhausted, the hobbits had fallen asleep quickly, but after taking the time to wash the drying mud from her feet Ivy had found herself unable to do the same. Resigned to a sleepless night before they moved out at dawn, Ivy had curled herself into the chair opposite the ranger's to watch the still night outside the window's glass. When Strider's voice cut through the silence moments later, surprise lanced through Ivy like a knife in the dark.

"What could make a hedge witch leave her territory? In my years as a ranger, I have seen nothing but the direst of situations force one to move beyond her boundaries. In fact," his dark eyes glittered in the darkness as they sought out Ivy's," I have seen hedge witches die rather than abandon their sacred charges." For a moment, Ivy felt her heart constrict as she remembered the gut wrenching pain she had experience when she had left her beloved woods behind. Even now, she could feel her bond with the trees faintly pulling at her soul. When she answered, all this showed in her eyes, but her husky voice was as dry and as arch as any noble wizard's.

"Hedge witches are soul-bound to their territories, Strider. To forsake the lands she is sworn to protect, a rouge hedge witch risks madness and lingering death." Ivy nodded solemnly in the darkness. "Only a situation that threatened all of Middle Earth could force a true hedge witch to leave her land willingly." The ranger seemed about to push further for answers when Frodo suddenly sat up in bed, gasping for air.

"They're here," Strider whispered.

At dawn, the travelers led by Strider set forth into the wild after a quick breakfast of hard cheese and journey bread. If Ivy understood her hobbits, this breakfast was considered to be not enough to feed a sick child. Since her stomach was feeling a bit sour anyway, Ivy offered Pippin the rest of her share.

"Are you sure, Miss Ivy? You didn't eat much." Ivy smiled and gathered up her traveling pack.

"Don't worry about me. Remember? I'm kind of small for a human anyway." Pippin smiled at her mention of Merry's jest.

"Aw, don't sell yourself…er…short. You've still got some growing to do, Miss Ivy." Soon they didn't have any breath left to banter as Strider set a grueling pace for Rivendell. Only Sam managed to seem happy at the mention of seeing Elves.

It was Strider who noticed Ivy's decline as daylight began to fade. For a moment he almost thought that perhaps her gender was to blame for her lagging strength, but he'd long ago learned from a certain Elven female that to underestimate the opposite sex was to leave oneself open for unpleasant surprises. Luckily, they reached Amon Sûl on schedule, and as the others set up camp Strider was able to have a word with the ill girl. Her face was gray and pinched as she leaned heavily against one of the ancient watchtower's pillars.

"What ails you, hedge witch?" Strider winced as his voice came out harshly, but his worries over Frodo's burden weighed upon his mind. Ivy's eyes were glazed over when she turned her head to answer.

"The White Evil rapes my forest. Every ax blow, every lick of flame, I can feel through my link with my trees. The Forests…of…Isengard are…dying."

"Isengard? What do you know of…?" Strider only then noticed that the figure before him had slumped into a faint. Saving his questions for another time, Strider quickly picked up the girl and carried her over to lay her beside the already sleeping Frodo. After arming the remaining hobbits, Strider decided to search for a bit of the athelas plant while he went to scout out the surrounding area.

_He could swallow all of Middle Earth and still hunger for more. He'll consume you if he can. Never trust the White Hand of Saruman, Ivilina._

"Mama?" The words flowing through Ivy's dreams were too low pitched to make sense, but their warning was a like a shot of fire within her veins. The awful feeling that throbbed through her body originated in one area, the dark taint upon her skin that forever marked her as being tied to evil. How she hated being reminded of that spot, but her mind refused to release Ivy from her tormented sleep. Weakly, she called again for her mother, but deep down she realized that her only protector was forever beyond her reach.

_"Mama!" _Ivy bolted upright, one hand groping for something to defend herself with. Instead, she managed to grasp a warm shoulder that sent the body part's owner sitting up just as abruptly as she had. Periwinkle and blue eyes regarded each other in puzzlement.

"Ah, good timing, Miss Ivy. You woke Frodo and you're both just in time for some tomatoes, sausage, and some nice crispy bacon!" Beside Ivy, Frodo began to yell about putting out the fire. It belatedly occurred to her just what a beacon a fire would make so high up on these ruins. Just what had seen the beacon, well, the sudden wailing in the night sounded all too familiar…

**AN: **All right, folks. I tried to make this chapter extra long, at least for my style, so I hope that you aren't too disappointed. Reviews are the coin of the realm, so let me know what you think. Thanks for stopping by. I'll try to get the next chapter up and out a bit sooner next time too. Later!


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Good Lord, I'd nearly forgotten that I'd started this story. I really dislike it when an author abandons his fic midway through the story. I will try my best to finish, but what can I say, life gets in the way.

**Chapter 6**

Frodo was dying. Ivy, Merry, and Pippin, frozen with the shock of narrowly escaping death by Ring Wraith, could only watch as Sam and Strider examined the wound the Nazgûl had dealt their friend. When Sam dashed off muttering about Kingsfoil, Ivy's wits finally returned. Yes, the athelas plant, a great bane against certain poisons, was something she often used in her potions for her patients. If that's what Frodo needed, then that's what she'd help find!

Ivy had found a good sized patch of the herb when the sound of horses and Sam's alarmed voice sent her racing back to her companions. The reason behind Sam's alarm was a female elf that Strider was apparently arguing with. Ivy couldn't tell Elfish from Dwarf speak, but she quickly gathered what the problem was. "Let her take him, Strider. Your weight plus Frodo's will make you slower. She'll be the faster rider." By the looks that the two shot her way, Ivy guessed that she'd echoed the female's arguments. With a nod in Ivy's direction and a look that spoke volumes at Strider, the elven woman mounted and was off with Frodo.

"We'd best be off," Strider's voice broke the uneasy silence. "It is six days to Rivendell and we'll do our best to make it three." Pippin tugged at Sam's hand and together they gathered the packs. Upon the rising wind, the cries of the Nazgûl sang encouragement.

It was a hard pace, but Strider kept his word. They made Rivendell in three days. Ivy managed to catch Pippin when his legs finally gave out and between her and Merry they managed to carry him the last few steps to the Great Gate. Sentries had long before challenged their party and a few words from Strider had eased their path. Kind hands arrived to help the weary travelers into safe quarters, but it was only after Sam had been given word on Frodo's condition that he allowed himself to be led away.

Ivy found herself being gently stripped and lowered into a steaming bath before she really realized what was going on. Two elven women, one fair haired and the other dark, washed away the grit and dust that had caked upon Ivy's skin on the aggressive trek. It was only when she was being helped into a warm gown that Ivy realized her mistake. She whirled and caught the expressions on her impromptu handmaidens' faces.

"You will stay here, Hedge Witch." Gone were the sweet helpers from before and Ivy could only watch as two icy strangers locked her inside her comfortable prison. She caught her reflection in a low hanging mirror near the bed and saw the mark that had turned her helpers against her. High on her right buttock, a white hand was forever scored upon her skin. _Damn you, Saruman._

That's all for now, folks. I'll try to do more soon. :)


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